2016-17 Top New Updated Dirty Jokes in Hindi

2016-17 Top New Updated Dirty Jokes in Hindi

 Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle.  He’s got two large bags over his shoulders.  The guard stops him and says, "What’s in the bags?" "Sand," answered Juan. The guard says, "We’ll just see about that – get off the bike!" The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.  The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.  The next day, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?" "Sand," says Juan. The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.  He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.  This sequence of events is repeated every day for a year.  Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico. "Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about… I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?" Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."


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 A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.  One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp.  They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie.  The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."  The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life.  I just want to go home." POOF!  The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family. Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life.  I wish I could go home too." POOF!  The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.  The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.  The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"  The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."


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 A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said: "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here.  Put up your hand if you are the laziest."  24 men raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man "why didn't you raise your hand?"  The man replied: "Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge."


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 Little Johnny's teacher asks, "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Do any of you know why his father didn't punish him?" Little Johnny replies, "Because George was the one holding the axe?


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 By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.  "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where."  "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost.  But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past.  I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."  "No problem," the tired Marine assured him.  "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.  "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager.  "Never better."  The manager was impressed.  No problem with the other guy snoring, then?"  "Nope, I shut him up in no time."  Said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained.  "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."